Christmas Past

I have been writing this blog for several years now.  Some have read all or most of my Christmas posts.  For others, this may be the first.  I invite you to place "Christmas" in the search bar on the right column of this webpage.  You will then see a list of articles to choose from.  

I wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

Breakfast Surprise

 

We went out for a post-Thanksgiving breakfast.  Geo, our friendly waiter, greeted and seated us.  A young couple occupied the table behind us.  Our “neighbor” got a phone call.  One could easily hear that he was congratulating and encouraging a co-worker.  He got a second call later from someone else and was just as encouraging.  I certainly was impressed.

On my way back from getting to-go boxes, I walked up to them and said, “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t help but hear your last two phone calls.” 

“Oh, was I speaking too loudly?” he asked.

“No”, I responded.  “Being inside and next to each other, it was hard to miss.”  I continued, “It sounded like you were talking to a friend or fellow employee.  You sounded very encouraging and complimented them on their recent accomplishment.  You did the same with the second caller.”

“Yeah,” he added, “I like to encourage others.  It encourages them, and me.”

“Well, I’m very impressed.  We need more people like you,” I concluded.

I told him about this blog, Journey into Story.  I explained that the purpose is to learn others’ stories.  The more we know each other’s stories, the more we take steps towards mutual respect.  In the end, as it spreads, peace is passed along.

His friend, a young woman, is maybe 20 years old. She is a drift car racer.  (What is “drift racing?”  When finished with this post, click the link at the bottom of the page.)

As I was leaving, I shook her hand and said, “Be careful.  You are too pretty to get into a wreck.”

After they left, I spoke with Geo.  He said, “Your bill has been paid by the couple you sat next to.”  Nice, it made my day, so I put my arm around Geo’s shoulder and put a nice tip into his hand.

Please consider listening to others’ stories and sharing your own.  In the process, everyone receives benefits.

Drift racing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK8Gc4vH2YM

Strange Things In Unusual Places

 Have you found anything that seemed out of place or unusual?  If you have kids or grandkids, you probably have.  Years ago, Anne Murray sang a song, “Hippo in the Driveway.” Talk about things that are out of place! Take a couple of moments and listen to this song, then we’ll talk...  

My wife said to me while I was putting on a shirt, “I wouldn’t wear that shirt, it has a gorilla on the back (see photo at the top of this article).  You guessed it, one of our grandkids put it there.  After they visit, I’m always cautious as to what I’ll find.  Once I climbed into bed, I hit a cowbell!  I have discovered action figures, stuffed animals, and socks, among other things.  Years down the road, we will remember these times and smile.

These kinds of remembrances become part of our story.  They are the threads in the fabric of our lives.  They help us embrace our memories.  Yes, there are some memories we might rather forget, but they are still part of the fabric.  Without them, we end up with holes in life’s fabric.

What are the surprises in your story? Perhaps you can share them with us by tapping "Comment" below.

Remember...If we tell our story in a vacant woods, does anybody hear it?  The way to be heard is to share.

The Tale of Two Communicators

What would happen in our daily lives if people couldn’t communicate well?  It would probably end up like the movie, “The Day the Earth Stood Still.”  Good communication is vital.  We need to speak, listen, write, and think about what is being communicated.  Unfortunately, in today’s climate, that doesn’t happen often.

Our first communicator, Jesus, 33, was a great communicator. He communicated on a human level, which is pretty good considering the Bible says He is God.  He wanted the listeners to think about what he said, and sometimes spoke in parables. A parable is a simple story illustrating a religious or moral lesson.

The Pharisees thought his words were inflammatory and wouldn’t listen to reason.  They were afraid of losing their power base.  They killed him.

This is similar to our second communicator:

You are probably aware that Charlie Kirk was the 31-year-old man who travelled countrywide, visiting college campuses, and was assassinated at a Utah campus on September 10, 2025. He politely encouraged young people to think through their positions.  Some have said that he used inflammatory language, but I’m not sure they actually ever listened to his debates.  It’s kind of like the guy who said, “I thought I knew a lot about the Bible, until I met someone who read it.”  Charlie was polite, unlike some of his questioners.  He gave people a chance to share their viewpoint and then shared his.  Many times, when people didn’t have an answer, they got upset and said Kirk was inflammatory.  Inflammation is an emotional reaction rather than a thought process.  In America today, many react. They killed Charlie.

It seems that we Americans get offended when others hold differing views and we can’t prove them wrong.  Then it turns to name-calling and a shouting match.  It’s no wonder we can’t communicate. 

Some colleges cancel speakers because of their stance.  I thought college was supposed to be a place to share ideas.  One can have their ideas as long as they align with the institution's agenda.  A few years back, there was to be a debate between an evolutionist and a creationist.  Shortly before the event was scheduled, it was cancelled.  What was there to fear?  The truth?

Is it possible to talk to each other and listen to what the other has to say?  In the end, we may not agree, but we can respect the other's right to do so.  If we can’t, we may resort to violence. Can our nation survive without good communication and listening skills?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. III said, at the 50^th anniversary of his father’s “I have a dream” speech:

“We must learn non-violence, or we may face non-existence.”

Communication can be a weapon or a tool.  Will you join me in practicing good communication without taking offence?  Isn't that what our nation needs right now?

Marriage and the Battle of the Blinds

We once stayed with friends while visiting Kansas City, MO.  They had the habit of always keeping their blinds closed.  It drove us batty, so when they were away at work, we opened them up and let the beautiful rays of the sun enter the room.  We made sure the blinds were fully closed when they came home from work.  After all, we had no other place to stay.

Our present home has a full wall of windows from overhead to nearly the floor.  That’s great for the backyard.  Our living room faces the street, with my lounge chair completely visible, so I raise the curtains enough for others not to see us.  I don’t like living in a fishbowl.  My wife isn’t bothered by open shades, so she opens them more than I feel comfortable with.  I’ll come in and see the big center blind open, and I raise it, only for my wife to come by and put it down.  This happens so much, I think the neighbors across the street are probably thinking we are sending some kind of coded message!

Am I being unfair?  After all, the blinds are fully open that face our beautiful backyard.  Isn’t that enough?  Not.  We do have a mutual friend who is a mediator.  Perhaps we should hire someone from his office to assist us.

We have been asked by several people, “How have you stayed married so long? What’s the secret?”  Here is the secret: Are you ready for this? There is no secret.  It’s out in the open.  The answer lies in two words: love & commitment.  Most believe they have the first word down, but what kind of love are we talking about?  It’s not, “As long as you keep me happy, I’ll love you.”  In other words, “What’s in it for me?” 

As a couple’s therapist, I would ask couples if they agreed with this statement:  “Marriage is a 50/50 proposition?”  Most agreed.  The answer is “Marriage is a 100/100 proposition.”  If we only go halfway and draw a line, we can say, “I did my part, now you do yours.”  We get rid of the line if we both give 100% to the other.  There may be a time when someone can only give 60% because of illness and personal struggles.  That’s when the other partner is there for them.

Back to the blinds.  We have both accepted that we each want something different.  Whomever uses the room positions the blind.  If both are in the room, we leave it where it is presently located or ask the other if they don’t mind us moving it.  We can live with that, after all, we are giving at our best…usually.

 

 

FOUNDATIONS OF INDEPENDENCE

I grew up in an inexpensive house.  I knew we were poor when we visited my Uncle Dave.  They lived in a beautiful two-story home with immaculate furnishings.  The style of our furniture was Early Goodwill.  My father and a friend built an addition onto the kitchen.  At the time, it looked big, but it didn’t look so big when I came back as an adult.    

Many of you may have seen the Canadian comedy show, “Red Green.”  Red fixed everything with duct tape.  My dad fixed everything with Liquid Nails.  It often didn’t look that pretty, but was sometimes functional.

The house had a forbidden corner.  It was where a water pump once stood, so the floor sagged in that corner.  It wasn’t good for anything except storing bathroom linens.  My dad would say, “You kids don’t get too close to that corner, you might fall in!”  We were scared to get near it, except to retrieve a bath towel and wash cloth.  I would stand at some distance and reach as far as I could without falling into that chasm where I would disappear for all eternity.  If you ever dropped any change in the kitchen, it would probably roll down there, and the rescue of that coin wasn’t worth the danger.

Fast forward to the present.  We bought a house that had problems we weren’t aware of.  The house is not level!  Our ground is clay near a drainage ditch.  When it rains, the clay acts like a sponge, expanding the foundation.  Now, if a friend falls indoors, we only have to go to the Northeast corner of the room to find where they rolled.  Well, it’s not that bad, but you get the point.

FOUNDATIONS ARE IMPORTANT for houses and for nations.  Friday is Independence Day in the U.S. Our nation has certain foundational principles and ideas.  Those principles came from four basic sources.   The four major influences were ancient thought, Enlightenment philosophy, the English tradition, and Protestant Christianity.  (1) Ancient world thinkers and their failures taught the Founders a lot when constructing the American republic.   (2) Enlightenment thinkers emphasized that the people should rule themselves through a limited government that would protect natural rights and secure the liberties of the people.  (3) The British protected basic rights, such as the right to trial by jury, property rights, and no taxation without consent. The government would be limited, especially the monarchy. (4) The writings associated with the Protestant Reformation emphasized individual liberty from civil and religious oppression. Protestant ideas, based on Scripture, of resistance against tyranny were generally consistent with the other three strains of republican thought. (For further reading on this, click here.)

If you start to erode any of these four building blocks of the foundation of America, it causes instability.  If enough is chipped away, the nation can fall.  The one area that has most eroded is the Biblical principles because they are the easiest to attack and misinterpret.  We have gone on a witch hunt for Christian teachings that were used to build our original foundation.  After all, it was Jesus who told the story about the foolish man who built his house on a foundation of sand.  The winds and rain came, and the house was destroyed.  The wise man built his house upon a rock, and it withstood all that came against it. (Matthew 7:24-27).  We know how we built our foundation.  If we let it erode, we only have ourselves to blame.

As we consider these things, let’s be thankful for the wisdom of our founding fathers.  They gave us a great start. It is our responsibility to preserve it. 

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Many Forms of Mother

 

For many, the word Mom or Mother represents a term of endearment.  This probably explains why Mother’s Day gets top billing over Father’s Day. 

Americans spent $33.5 billion on Mother's Day-related gifts and activities in 2024. The numbers for Father's Day were $22.4 billion last year.  There are some reasons for this with guilt being a top motivator.  We’ll leave it at that. 

Mothers fulfill an important role in our lives, as do all women.  A woman doesn’t have to be a mom to be a mom.  My friend, Donna, has made a couple of trips to Nepal to help out the churches there, where Christians are persecuted.  The person in leadership of over 100 churches there calls Donna, “Mom.”  It would not be proper to call her by her first name, so she is given that title.  She has made a great impact on his life.

We have a friend from Tanzania, Africa.  His home language is Swahili.  We don’t speak Swahili. Our language is Hoosier (look it up).  In their country, they show respect to an older woman or man as “Mama” or “Papa.” Linda is Mama, and I am Papa. These are terms of endearment.

When Jesus was on the cross, he looked down at his mother and the Apostle John standing with her.

            ²⁵ Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶ When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” ²⁷ and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. (John 19:25-27 NIV)

Jesus was asking John to take care of his mother.  He was also asking his mom to take care of him.

Women who play a significant role in someone’s life can be a mom, mother, or mama.  They become our nurturers, cheerleaders, and inspirers in our lives.  They are there for us, love us, and guide us.  (Check out my story about Grandma Frye in the February 16, 2024 post, “Circle of Friends” to illustrate this).

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU!

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